Since I've worked in retail it's hard not to hate all Christmas music. I'm here writing to all of you who love to despise the holidays. All of you who hate (it's a strong word I know) Christmas music so much you would rather eat ornaments and christmas bulbs. Yes, I shall show you the WORST five Christmas songs. Share them to your friends and family this holiday season. Better yet, make that Aunt of yours a Christmas compilation and put it on repeat at her Christmas parties and see how she feels.
5. Fucked Up "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
I'm going to start with Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas?" done by Fucked Up. First of all, the original was bad enough. The lyrics suggest that you should be happy that you're not stuck in a place that doesn't celebrate Christmas and doesn't have water. Let alone, this poor third world country won't have snow this year. I'm pretty positive this song was written for a place in Africa. Heaven's to betsy it won't snow in Africa this year and you'll make royalties pointing it out Band Aid. Good for you. Glad you're making money while others are suffering without water. Maybe, if you didn't spend so much time in the studio you could hike to your local store and buy some and ship it to the people who need it.
4. Savage Garden "Last Christmas"
Next on the list is WHAM!'s "Last Christmas" done by Savage Garden. I can't lie and I must confess, I loved Savage Garden back in the day. I cried when someone on the airplane stole my cd from my Discman. As good as I used to think they were, this song is exceptionally bad. The deva vocals always make me cringe and this one makes me ball up in the corner and hope it stops. I don't know how they thought it was a good cover.
3. Justin Bieber "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"
Third would be the epic Justin Bieber. If you have Bieber fever, I'm apologizing now, because I frankly do not. I can't imagine a world that would convince this child he's the center of our universe. His parents must be so proud when they see him thwarting chicks he's allegedly slept with while making silly Christmas albums on the side. This video makes it probably the most annoying Christmas song ever made and I hope you can agree that it goes up there with the Twilight movies as Worst Acting. I laughed so hard I shed tears. He took the original banjo guitar song "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" and made it for fourteen year-old groupies.
Third would be the epic Justin Bieber. If you have Bieber fever, I'm apologizing now, because I frankly do not. I can't imagine a world that would convince this child he's the center of our universe. His parents must be so proud when they see him thwarting chicks he's allegedly slept with while making silly Christmas albums on the side. This video makes it probably the most annoying Christmas song ever made and I hope you can agree that it goes up there with the Twilight movies as Worst Acting. I laughed so hard I shed tears. He took the original banjo guitar song "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" and made it for fourteen year-old groupies.
2. Billy Idol "Jingle Bell Rock"
Next would be the classic "Jingle Bell Rock" originally done by Bobby Helms. I love this song. Probably one of the only Christmas songs I could still listen to on occassion...once a year...maybe twice. This version is done by Billy Idol. I can admit that Billy Idol isn't all that bad, but if you watch the video, it seals the deal. You have got to be kidding me.
Next would be the classic "Jingle Bell Rock" originally done by Bobby Helms. I love this song. Probably one of the only Christmas songs I could still listen to on occassion...once a year...maybe twice. This version is done by Billy Idol. I can admit that Billy Idol isn't all that bad, but if you watch the video, it seals the deal. You have got to be kidding me.
1. Hanson "Little Saint Nick"
This one I was reluctant to make fifth. I had two others that almost made the cut, but because this one is just so awkward I made it numero cinco. In all honesty, I liked these guys for respect that they played their own instruments and were younger than those boy bands. Hey Hanson, can't wait to try your Mmmhop IPA coming out soon. I hope it's good because this song sucked. You took Beach Boys and tried to make it sound like Beach Boys, when it really ended up sounding like Kids Bop. "Little Saint Nick" will never be the same.
This concludes my top five. Like I said before, I'm sure there are more. Feel free to share them with us because, as for me anyways, I love a good laugh and would love to see your top five.
This one I was reluctant to make fifth. I had two others that almost made the cut, but because this one is just so awkward I made it numero cinco. In all honesty, I liked these guys for respect that they played their own instruments and were younger than those boy bands. Hey Hanson, can't wait to try your Mmmhop IPA coming out soon. I hope it's good because this song sucked. You took Beach Boys and tried to make it sound like Beach Boys, when it really ended up sounding like Kids Bop. "Little Saint Nick" will never be the same.
This concludes my top five. Like I said before, I'm sure there are more. Feel free to share them with us because, as for me anyways, I love a good laugh and would love to see your top five.
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