A Jupiter-bound spacecraft auditorium hosting an androgynous orgy of sights and sounds. Sexual funk theater starring a half-naked, falsetto-voiced Othello reciting the Kama Sutra in Urdu. A celebration of flesh, fire and frilly shirts soundtracked by skittering guitar and a groove so deep it makes the Grand Canyon look like a sidewalk crack.

The Tacoma Dome will become all of these things and more when Prince hits the stage tonight.

The tiniest, sexiest, dirtiest and funkiest man alive is 53 and your girlfriend would probably still cheat on you with him if she had the opportunity. Too young to know Dirty Mind, Controversy and 1999? Get yourself educated, son. Just keep your lady away from the backstage.

At the Tacoma Dome at 8pm. Tickets start around $75 and go well over $1000. You don't have anything better to spend the money on. Trust me.