Super Bowl 2012 is one of America's most celebrated holidays. Football, beer, food, music, and hilarious commercials, what more could you ask for?

Well personally, I'd like my twelve minutes and forty four seconds back. This year's halftime show was put on by 53-year-old Madonna (who looks beyond hot) and cameos by Nikki Minaj, LMFAO, M.I.A, and Cee-Lo Green. From the beginning to end, I was bored and confused by what the hell was going on the entire time, and there wasn't even one nip-slip.

Theatrics - The show opens up with a bunch of men dressed like warriors from Troy/300 pulling Madonna on an enormous platform who emerges dressed like an Aztec queen with some bizarre headdress on. I feel like I'm witnessing an acid trip. Super Bowl halftime shows are known for their elaborate set ups and lights, so obvious props to all the money they spent on this atomic bomb. One cool thing I'd like to note is at the end of the performance once Madonna disappeared underground in a poof of smoke, the words "World Peace" was written on the field in gold.

Song Selection - Madonna brings the noise with a flashback to her glory days with "Vogue," a timeless classic. From there, it moves into her more recent stuff with "Music" (which I can't help but love) and the ridiculously untalented duo known more formally as LMFAO joins in with her as they belt out "Party Rock Anthem/Sexy and I Know It." The oh so elegant Nicki Minaj and M.I.A. hop onstage as well and they do "Give Me All Your Luvin'," and then Cee-Lo Green pops out of nowhere dressed as a director of a marching band. The show finally ends with Madonna and Cee-Lo Green performing "Like A Prayer" in a gospel choir style. At this point, I am flabbergasted.

Performance - To be honest, Madonna is an amazing performer and for being in her fifties, she proved that senior discounts at Denny's isn't in her future just yet. She looks amazing and can drop it low better than B.Spears. LMFAO is just a joke, who the hell invited them to perform is still a mystery. I've never understood Nicki Minaj, she's frankly just terrifying and haunts my dreams at night. M.I.A. in an attempt to bring some controversy to the Super Bowl like Janet Jackson's infamous boob pop, decides to flip off the camera while performing. Classic. Once the "Like A Virgin" gospel version hit, that's when I lost it. Cee-Lo Green donning a little black dress (and when I mean little, I mean a big black, flowing, glittery gown) would be enough for anyone to break out in giggles.

Overall - I've obviously already noted that this was a horrendous show, but there were few quirks that made it worthwhile like M.I.A. throwing up the bird, Cee-Lo's dress, and Madonna dancing like she's Tina Turner. The Queen of Pop still has that spark that makes her entertaining to watch but overall, I'm more of a commercial kinda gal when it comes to the Super Bowl.